Discriminating Weirdos

Anyone Want to Learn Embroidery?

I "met" Geoff Davis through a friend of a friend, and I say "met" because I've never actually talked to the guy in person.  This friend's friend found out that I do embroidery, and that I'm gaga over the ukulele, and she immediately put me in contact with him.  Before I knew it, I was signed on to teach an embroidery class at the Blue Stone Folk School in Noblesville, Indiana.

I'm not going to spend a lot of time explaining the idea behind Blue Stone Folk School.  First off, I haven't been there yet, so it's tough to find much to say.  Second, this article in Nuvo does a much better job than I ever could.

The funny part about this whole situation is that I actually had heard about Geoff several years ago when he was the teacher / leader of an elementary school ukulele orchestra called Key Strummers.  Those kids gigged everywhere, and I had investigated them about five years ago when I was looking into some ukulele festivals on the Web.

As I later found out, Geoff teaches both playing and building ukes, and about two years ago I had seriously considered contacting him and taking a building class.  The worlds of embroidery and ukulele move in strange and mysterious ways, my friends.  Strange and mysterious ways...

Anyway, consider this post advanced notice that I'll be teaching a class at the Blue Stone Folk School this fall.  Check out the school's Web site here, and join the mailing list.  And tell Geoff that I sent you, even though he might not realize who you're talking about until we actually meet.  (ADAM)

On Border Terriers and Obama

I'm going to keep it short today, mostly because there isn't much a guy can say about... THE MOST PERFECT ETSY PRODUCT EVER PUT UP FOR SALE!

Regular readers of Discriminating Weirdos know that our intrepid terrier, Spoof, makes for good print.  Her breed, whether failing miserably at hunting down tame chipmunks or peeing on the leg of a big movie star, is one of the greatest and most photogenic dogs out there.  Border terriers have appeared in a wide range of films, from There's Something About Mary to the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And, although I might have dreamed this, Borders enjoy taking tea with the Queen, knitting socks, and play a mean game of pocket billiards.

Here's Spoof, enjoying some time on the beach.

So imagine my surprise when I found this little item on Etsy.  Without making things too political, there couldn't be a better button for the Chicago contingent of Moes.  The Dog Coat Lady specializes in pooch apparel and animal rights buttons, and I would like to publicly thank her for including Borders.  As I'm sure other Border owners know, it's not easy to find Border terrier items.  While the Scotties and Labs and Retrievers (blahblahblah) are always represented on buttons, mugs, and novelty plates, Borders are almost always overlooked.

But now the world will know, in no uncertain terms, that Border terriers will be voting Obama in the upcoming election.  Watch out, AARP!  Here comes AARF!

 Did I just write that?  I'm going to go stick my head in a bucket now.  (ADAM)

Cute is a good thing.

I don't know what happens when you need a hobby to take a break from your hobby that suddenly became a vocation.  I don't know if other people find themselves in that strange situation and what they reach for. 

I've been stitching hats like a woman possessed.  Honest.  I know I haven't listed anything in a long time, but that's because I'm so busy stitching that can't find the time to take photos and all that. 

So every once in a while I need a break from the stitching and I have accidentally found my way into a new hobby. 

 I heart amigurumi.  It's cute (kyuuto!!!) in such a marvelously whimsical way, so very Japanese.  

So far, I've been limited to some fairly pumpkin-headed teddy bears (it's harder than it seems!!!), and one amazingly cute little duck from the Kyuto! Amigurumi book, and one fish skeleton for my husband. 

Next, it would seem, I'm going to need to get some patterns from offthehook designs. 

Her sense of the thing is just perfect.  Oh how I love A Fish Called Elvis.  He's nice and handsome.  I don't know if I'm up to the task, but I sure would like to try. 

 And check out Micro. Apparently Adam and I are on a robot kick (though that kick doesn't have the strength of the continued obsession with the fingerstache).  I love Micro.  He seems like a perfect sort of friend to have around.  (emily)

These and other amigurumi patterns are available from offthehookdesigns on Etsy

Robots, Robots, Robots!

Today, for some reason, I'm all about robots.  Writing this blog always starts with some sort of Web search, and today I went directly to Etsy and searched for robots.  It's funny, because robots aren't usually floating around in my brain.  I like robots as much as the next guy, but they just don't seem to pop up in my everyday stream of consciousness.

It must be the weather.

Anyway, I'm glad I searched for some Etsy robot love, because I found a very cool shop.  Robot Zen is a shop run by Jordo, a guy who designs, builds, and paints robots.  He also creates space fortresses for collectors of tiny intergalactic buildings or insects that have fallen victim to the current mortgage crisis.

His pieces range in size from Megabots (about 30 centimeters tall) to Radbots (anywhere from 12 to 25 centimeters tall).  With the wide variety of shapes, sizes, and colors, finding the perfect mechanical assistant is quick and easy.

I also love the description of how these little guys can help you in your day-to-day life:

Robot aids in safety & protection. Helps prevent ninjas, cowboys, aliens, pirates, dogs w/ sweaters, creepy uncles, and emo kids from entering your zone by using its robot skillz. For best results place robot on shelf facing a window and/or door of your zone. See results instantly. In case of detached limb during combat, acquire a hot glue servicing mechanism device and reattach where necessary. Sometimes robot may become fierce. Batteries not included, nor necessary. Robot personalities may vary. See a physician if complications occur.

Each robot contains a secret compartment that is usually unnoticed by most folks. The robot can be used to store: your money; diamonds; tiny pictures; wishes; dice; paper clips; keys; Xanax; rocks; matches; beads; pins; teeth; bottle caps; lint; bolts and screws; girls’ phone numbers; various shiny objects; news paper clippings; grains of rice; a locket of hair from that girl you’ve been secretly stalking; a lucky 4 leaf clover; a shower cap from a nice hotel; and much much more!

That's right!  Not only will these robots protect you from ninjas and whatnot, but they can also store small items.  They are like the bastard offspring of a super-cool robot and a small box!

If I weren't already married, I might look into getting one of these. (ADAM)

Tattoos: The Perfect Disguise

 Longtime readers of Discriminating Weirdos know that we have a love for mustache kitsch that borders on fetishism.  There is nothing funnier to us than mustache-themed artistic endeavors, and we have featured a few over the past months.

 Yesterday, however, we stumbled upon the king of all mustache-inspired silliness.  Apparently, people are getting mustache tattoos!

I know what you're thinking, because I thought the same thing.  It's not nearly as strange as it sounds.  Just check out this news report and try not to giggle with appreciation.

Sometimes the strangest things can restore one's faith in humanity.  This "trend" is one of those things for us.  We tried it for a while yesterday afternoon, albeit with a Sharpie marker, and I wouldn't be surprised if one of us actually goes for the real thing before the summer is over.

I've always felt that tattoos are less about the art and more about remembering something important from your past -- reminding your future self of something your present self never wants to forget.  When I am an old man, this is the sort of tattoo I'd like to have.  I would always be reminded that a good life can't always be a serious life.  We all need a little silly now and then.  (ADAM)

If Animals Looked Like Vampires...

If you like vampires, but aren't so much into the dark, bloody lifestyle, then you might want to visit Inkygirl.  Her Etsy shop features several paintings of animals as they would appear in a world populated by really, really cute vampires.  Take a look at Debie Ohi's shop, and especially her Menagerie series, for pieces she describes as "cutecreepy".  (ADAM)

   

 

A Musical Visit From Mario

I suppose it was inevitable, considering how so many Internet users grew up with Nintendo-related thumb cramps, but there is a trend among Web musicians.  Apparently, you aren't worth a small stack of pennies as a YouTube performer unless you film yourself playing the Super Mario Brothers theme song.  In a way, Mario music seems to have become an internet performance right of passage, and the videos just keep on coming.

It has gotten to the point where it isn't enough to simply play the song.  Everyone has seen it performed on piano, guitar, ukulele, and other fairly conventional instruments.  People have even tired of the recent full orchestral score for the game.  The new trend is to play it using objects that most people wouldn't even consider as musical instruments.

Consider the following three examples.

First, as a tribute to dorks, nerds, and geeks everywhere, I present the musical Tesla coils of Bob Ward and Jeff Larson.  In 2007, these guys built a Tesla contraption that essentially uses giant bolts of static electricity to play the song.  How?  I have no idea.  But the fact that they were able to do it proves once and for all that there is nothing people can't do if they put their minds to it and become so obsessed with it that most everyone around them starts to question their sanity.

Next, let's look in on Gerry (Jerry) Phillips, otherwise known as the Manualist.  Not only can this guy make his hands sound like a duck, but he can make them sound like a duck with a regular gig at the Chicago Opera.  Frankly, if he could add some tremolo and a bit more dynamic range to his performance, he could play first chair in any woodwind section I've ever seen.  Give him a minute to get going, look deep into his eyes, and let the magic of Mario wash over you.  This dude can turn your bad feeling into good feelings, no lie.

Finally, proof that you can make just about anything as long as you avoid the distractions of life.  Nothing could get in the way of the dream these guys shared, especially girlfriends.  Somehow, using glass bottles and a remote controlled car, these guys manage to play the Mario theme.  Imagine what they put into this feat of musical engineering.  They had to tune the bottles, space them perfectly, learn to drive the toy in a straight line... I can't get my mind around the time they spent setting this up.  And that doesn't even take into account all of the drinking and bottle storage.

I wonder if PONG had a theme song... (ADAM)

Literal = Funny

It's been a bit difficult trying to get back into the groove of things after our vacation last week.  Even when I'm working to cross things off my to-do list, I feel like I'm moving in slow motion.  Basically, I needed a good laugh this afternoon, and thanks to Etsy seller Foliage, I got one.

For some reason, I've never laughed at soap.  I've laughed at stories that included soap, like the time the riders of one of the floats in the Fisherman's Picnic parade in Grand Marais was throwing bars of glycerin soap instead of candy to the crowd.  One woman threw the soap really hard, sidearm like she was skipping stones, and hit a wheelchair-bound lady in the forehead.

I probably shouldn't have laughed, but I did.

Really though, soap is never really all that funny... UNTIL NOW!  Feast your eyes on the greatest development in soap technology since rinsing... HAND SOAP.

Ladies and gentlemen, if that doesn't make you laugh, then you're dead both ways from your belly button!

(ADAM)

Indiana Jones and the Arts and Crafts Scene

It must be summer, because movies are getting front page coverage in the news.  If you've been following that coverage at all, you know that the new Indiana Jones movie opens this weekend.  I think I heard it's been 19 years since the last Jones flick, and Indie fans are chomping at the bit to see this thing so that they can legitimately say it's not as good as the other three.

Don't feel bad, Crystal Skulls.  Someone has to come in fourth, and by all recent accounts it's probably going to be you.

No matter what, Indiana Jones is a character that will always be with us.  His hat and whip and chin scar are as much a part of American folklore as Paul Bunyan's blue ox, John Henry's hammers, and whatever it is that made Pecos Bill so famous.  Indiana Jones is the Buck Rogers and Lone Ranger of my generation -- a character that has achieved iconic status.

As if you need proof of his status, check out this item from Jordan Schwartz, a mosaic artist who sells his work on Etsy.  Using 2,300 Lego bricks in only four shades of gray, he created this really fabulous mosaic of Indiana Jones.  I've always been amazed by this sort of work.  From the guy who makes pictures out of hundreds of pieces of burned toast to the person who creates murals using glass tubes filled with colored gumballs, it's the kind of vision that always blows my mind.  I'll never understand how people can make something that only looks good when they stand far away from it.

If you feel the same way, check out Jordan's shop, SirNadroj, on Etsy.  There are some great pieces already listed, and he takes custom orders as well.

That's right, Mr. and Mrs. Blog Reader!  Your face could be rendered in Lego!  (ADAM)

The Old Ones Turn on the Charm, OR Cutethulhu

I've been a fan of H.P. Lovecraft's stories for quite a while.  There's just something about the faceless evil of the Old Ones that turns my crank, and if Re-Animator isn't one of the best movies ever made, I'll eat my hat.

While I wouldn't yet call Lovecraft "popular" culture, there is a definite underground swelling of love for his work, especially for the most faceless of his horrors, Cthulhu.  For those of you unfamiliar with the idea of Cthulhu, picture the most horrific, tentacled, evil mass imaginable, then fill the entire sky with it's body.  Cthulhu would be about 100 times more awful than that.  It's the ultimate horror -- the absolute embodiment of evil --  and he's so large and powerful that even to look upon him causes madness.  Basically,  it's as bad as it can get.

Once Cthuluhu decides to return to this world, we're all pretty much screwed.

Oddly enough, this ultimate horror has started to make a strong showing in the crafting world, and not as the embodiment of evil.  Cthulhu has had a makeover, and has become... cute. 

Take this clock from Biscuitboy's shop, for instance.  Sure, there's a little malevolence there, but for all intents and purposes, this is not an evil-looking character.  I guarantee that if the Darkest Of All Old Ones came to you in your dreams, the last thing he'd give you is the time of day.  Not this helpful, dwarfish fellow, though.  He wears his heart on his sleeve and a clock in his abdomen.
What about Cthulhu as a cute, cozy winter cap?  Sure, why not?  If there's one thing I've always wanted, it's a Lovecraftian horror perching my head.  Apparently Fabric Ninja has been reading my diary, because here it is!  My soft, fluffy Cthulhu is here and ready to help keep my head and ears warm while I wait for the train or the infinite darkness of servitude to the Old Ones!  Yay!

But in today's world, you haven't arrived in the world of cute until someone turns you into an amigarumi.  Apparently, then, Cthulhu is officially "cute" thanks to These Loving Hands.  Should you dare, you can crochet your very own little Old One.  I think this would be especially cool if you know someone who just had a baby.  Something in me would LOVE to see a baby snuggling with the most evil character in horror literature.  That makes me feel warm inside.

Especially if the kid is named Ach' narrgutha, the Brown Globulous Fiend of Pain. (ADAM)